Maybe you just need to change your mind
There are times when life flows: appointments synch up, green lights beckon, bank accounts balance perfectly, and interactions with people of all kinds are a delight.
And then BAM! the rose-colored glasses fall away. What was flowing smoothly becomes an oozy quagmire. Interactions are jarring, sleep is disrupted, nothing seems to connect.
Everything, and nothing. To paraphrase Max Ehrmann, author of “Desiderata”, “…no doubt the Universe is progessing exactly as it should.”
But if you have more jarring cycles than gentle ones,
the problem could be in your thinking.
What do I mean by ‘kryptonite thinking’? It’s the kind of thought that weakens resolve, rattles confidence, erodes happiness, encourages self-doubt.
- Self talk: your inner voice loops on things you were told as a child: “You’re not good enough.” “You never finish things.” “Your butt is too big!” Or you’re frequently reviewing things you said/should have said/didn’t say and finding yourself falling short. OR (or!) you’re telling yourself how hard life is, struggle being a measure of worthiness (“I worked SO HARD for all this!”). Sigh.
- Judgment track: a running negative internal commentary on what others look like, do, or say.
- Complaining: do you (even jokingly) natter on: about the weather, the traffic, the government, bad people, things you “hate”?
- Comparing: looking at “what is” and finding it lacking: your salary should be higher. The house needs work. The expensive vacation was disappointing. Your butt’s still too big, even after all the dieting and exercise.
Here’s the thing:
Do any of these thoughts make you feel good?
Of course not. THIS IS KRYPTONITE THINKING.
It’s toxic. Stop it.
Stop it for two really good reasons: 1) feeling good is better than feeling bad; and 2) what you think about tends to show up.
A short explanation of how our thinking affects “reality”:
- All matter is composed of tiny packets of energy. These show up in either wave or particle form.
- Experiments have shown that these energy packets respond to observers’ expectations.
- When the observer anticipates the location and form of the energy packet, it obeys, converting itself from wave to particle.
They also act in surprising and random ways, sometimes even showing up in two places at once.
Weird but True: human thought affects the world.
= YOUR thought affects YOUR world.
Thankfully it takes a substantial amount of focused thinking + intentional, inspired action to change things here on Earth. But everything begins with thought.
“But won’t the world run amok if I don’t comment / judge / push back?” you ask. No, friend, it won’t. But you’ll feel awful.
The most insidious part is, once you decide how something is, you’re collapsing the quantum field (you know, the part where waves become particles). Instead of limitless possibilities, there is only the thing you decided on, and found lacking.
It’s easy to know when you’re doing kryptonite thinking: you can tell by how you feel.
When you’re feeling glum and hopeless, or crunchy and judgmental, your thinking is out of synch with possibility. If you’re feeling neutral, at least you’re keeping the quantum field fluid. When you’re feeling happy (especially for no apparent reason), you’re in alignment with creative forces.
So talk nicely to yourself, like you’d speak to your kid or a friend. Watch your habitual word tracks: stop complaining, and if you can’t think of something nice to say… don’t. Pay attention to the ease we enjoy (electricity, heat, available food, water, freedom) and the beauty all around. Say thank you. Make a game of only noticing + commenting on the good.
Feeling happy ALL the time for fear of disrupting the creative cycle of the Universe is NOT required. It’s normal for feelings to oscillate a little.
But to uplevel your native inner state to a more harmonious one, all it takes is a decision to look at the bright side + a little (okay, maybe a lot of) practice. Declutter your thinking the way you’d clear out a closet.
Check in with your feelings.
Does this thought feel good? Yes? Keep it.
If it doesn’t serve, banish it.
Want more? Check out Pam Grout’s amazing bestseller, “E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality”.
You can change your life by changing your mind. I guarantee it.
I help mid-career professionals better tell their story.
I also offer 1:1 “Ask Me Anything” coaching calls.
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